Nicolas, after hearing Jonathan complimented for being such a good older brother and being helpful to Josiah while I was out and about with the three boys, says, “Was I just like Jonathan on the trip except I haven’t helped anyone?”
At what seems like long last for him, Nicolas has begun to read! He has gotten the knack of blending his sounds together, and has almost (but not entirely) abandoned the practice of looking at a word and trying to guess which one it might be without actually sounding out the various phonemes!
Those of you who remember this post, from a year and a half ago, where he expressed a lack of interest in books altogether, and then this one, from last spring, where he felt the need to run his fingers under every.single.line. in chapter books in his gargantuan effort to try and mimic his big brother’s reading will understand our excitement and happiness at his success.
We are working through the 100 Lessons Book (happily, this time) which I used with my first two children. Well, at least with Abigail. Jonathan happens to have been watching and listening, and pretty much figured it out on his own, precious boy.
Now, Nicolas begs for his reading lessons every day, and has even begun sneaking ahead of me each morning while I am busy with other things, and sounding out the next words on his own so that when I finally sit down with him, he’s already figured many of them out. It is so fun to see his excitement over his new skill, and watch his little brain process new sounds everyday.
The latest from Nicolas, this one on the long range weather forecast.
Nicolas: Dad, guess what.
Jay: What’s that?
Nicolas: The other week (note: that means “next week” in Nicolas-speak), it’s going to be sunny the whole week. The whole week. Even at night, it’s going to be sunny.
Today we are especially praying for Andrew and Jamison, who at this moment, are in the hospital, and hoping to welcome little Isaac into their arms sometime soon. I was showing Nico the picture of Aunt Jamison in Isaac’s nursery, and this is the conversation that ensued:
N: Wow, she has a pretty big tummy!
M: Yes, well, that’s Baby Isaac in there.
N: And, Mommy: how does the baby come out?
M: (Thinking we have only a short while to get ourselves breakfast and in the car this morning, and there is NO WAY I want to start this conversation!) Well, I’ll tell you all about it sometime.
N: Maybe you should tell me now. Because….what if you forget??
Today Nicolas Andrew (aka: Mookie, Nico, Nicolicious, Malibu-Nic — he tans easily, like the Malibu Barbie doll!) turns five years old. Like each of our first two children, he felt it best to arrive very close to a major holiday, thereby making the timing of birthday parties each year a little tricky. We hope to celebrate his special day tomorrow with family, doing some of the things he likes best. The weather is looking less and less like it will cooperate so I don’t know if we’ll be able to enjoy some of the outside activities we’d hoped to. This will likely ruffle me more than it will the Birthday Boy, though.
Because one of the great things about Nicolas is that he is fairly content and happy in most circumstances, especially when he is with the people he loves and who love him.
Nicolas is our most unique child: unique to our family, that is. The rest of us are admittedly a bit more uptight, and tend toward over-achievement in many instances. We’re all even a bit nerdy, you might say!! Nicolas has a personality that I think God knew we would need in this family. He is by far, the most comfortable in his own skin. He thinks he can do just about anything, but doesn’t come across as arrogant. He can make friends with anyone, and usually does. In tough times (in the life of a five-year-old, mind you) such as when he is picked on, falls very ill, or experiences disappointment, he sort of shrugs it off, gives a little sigh, and moves on with life. In a very non-five-year-old fashion. He is very trusting, and quite brave, in an almost-frightening way given how young he is. Most of all, he makes us laugh. He is so funny, and his often comical presence in our lives makes for a lot of humor.
Which I think God also knew we would need. God sent Nicolas to us as a wonderful surprise, at a time when we didn’t know we needed another baby, and for that, we will be forever grateful.
I wasn’t thinking this way though when I saw the positive pregnancy test back in October of 2001. We had just moved into a new house, I had a two year old and an eight month old, and Jay and I had already discussed a tentative plan of three years’ interval between our second and third babies. To say this third baby was a surprise was a massive understatement. Truly, to this day, we do not know how Nicolas was conceived. Well, I mean, we KNOW, but circumstances should have rendered a pregnancy impossible at that time.
But, regardless of circumstances and human planning, the first pregnancy test that I took was positive. So were the second and third, much to my dismay. One would think that a woman who had to wait over 18 (agonizing, at least to me at the time) months before being able to conceive her first child, and who experienced not one, but two miscarriages in quick succession before the safe arrival of her second child, would be overjoyed to see a positive pregnancy test announcing the potential arrival of a third baby into the family.
Instead, not only was I not overjoyed, I was panic-stricken. To my way of thinking, it was much too soon to consider welcoming a third child into the family. After all, I still had an infant to care for. I never wanted three children, aged three and under in my household all at once. Sure, we hoped for more children someday but not this soon. All I could think at that point was that I had prayed over and over for children, and really hoped for a houseful someday, and that God, employing some warped sense of humor had made the entire process an emotional roller coaster for me, culminating with Him “blessing” me with more tiny children than I could humanly handle at once.
Being a young, relatively immature and inexperienced mother, I envisioned a crazy and disorganized household in which children ran wild, and life was chaos. Our family calls ourselves Christians, but what sort of picture would the family in my wild imaginings show to a world in which we are called to be salt and light? I feared for our family’s future, I grieved for the lost childhood I was certain that Jonathan, our second child, was to experience, receiving another sibling way too soon, before he was even done being a baby himself. I had many dark and depressing thoughts as I spiraled into months of questioning why God was doing this. I was angry and frustrated with Him, and sadly, I generally remained that way for the majority of Nicolas’ pregnancy. My sweet husband can attest to the fact that I was not fun to live with during those months; being angry with God is neither conducive to an individual’s inner peace, nor to the peace and serenity of their family.
I tried very hard to present a brave and happy face to those I came into contact with, but inside I was panicking. The “helpful” comments of those individuals who constantly reminded me of my plight with statements like, “Boy, are YOU going to have your hands full!” and “Sweetie, don’t you know what causes this?” made me so upset. My husband’s assurances that God would not give us more than we could handle, and that my being angry at God would not make having this third baby any easier, but instead complicate the situation, fell on mostly deaf ears. I wanted to believe him, to trust that God’s grace would be sufficient, that He was the author and giver of life, that this baby was something to be amazingly thankful for, but I struggled mightily in those months leading up to Nicolas’ birth.
Providentially, the events surrounding Nicolas’ entrance into this world culminated in the best labor and delivery experience I have ever had. He was a week and a half late, and the only baby to not be either induced or delivered by planned C-Section. I still treasure the memories around the time he was delivered, and know this was just the first of many surprises and blessings God showered on me regarding this special child. I fell in love with Nicolas the minute I set eyes on him, and was so thankful for this third beautiful baby. But I still remember crying in the hospital as we prepared to return home, wondering how I would handle and care for three tiny children. Aside from some meals our church friends brought that first week home, there was no other outside assistance available to us as we adjusted to being a family of five.
But Jay was a great help and encouragement to me in the early days, and while he was home from work for about a week, he took care of Abigail and Jonathan almost exclusively, allowing me to focus on little Nicolas, and truly sleep when he slept, etc, in an effort to recover and gain strength for the task ahead. In those first few weeks, I truly cherished my one-on-one times with Baby Nicolas, and even waking in the middle of the night to nurse him and change him was a joy. It never felt as hard as it had with my two previous babies. I actually looked forward to those midnight and early morning feedings with him. And all I can think when I reflect on it now is that God was so gracious to allow me these happy emotions and precious times considering how I had fussed and fumed over what I was sure was going to feel more like drudgery.
Nicolas went on to be our easiest baby ever, in most every way. He slept though the night by three weeks of age, and continued that habit long-term. He seldom cried or even fussed, and he smiled often and giggled alot. I remember how Jay and I would look forward to our “Nicolas time”, which usually consisted of us holding our little baby boy and allowing him to smile, gurgle and cheer us in the way he managed to, even at just a couple months of age. His happy personality came through loud and clear, giving us a glimpse into the sunny and funny little boy he was to become.
Today our entire family and extended family is blessed with happy Nicolas.
Most people who meet him are charmed instantly by his sweet and friendly personality. And while he has some of the same struggles and issues as many five-year-olds do, yet in other ways he seems to possess a peace and calm that I only hope and pray to someday have. His sweet presence in our lives is an ever-constant reminder of the good gifts God lovingly bestows on us, even when we do not ask for them, even when we kick and fight against Him. Today, we thank God especially for Nicolas, our sweet five-year-old surprise, marvel at the little boy he has become, and look forward in faith to what the future holds for him.
Our children are becoming familiar with the epic that is Lord of the Rings. In addition to Jonathan’s current reading of the Hobbit, the three older children are enjoying segmented, slow screenings of Peter Jackson’s three LotR movies with their Daddy. One can witness their fascination with the story as they play together, though obviously one of them is still a bit mixed up over a few of the characters. This morning, they were all in the boys’ room, constructing bows and arrows from K’nex, and putting on their dress-up armor in preparation for a great battle.
“I am going to be the elf-princess, Arwen,” declared Abigail. Jonathan, ready to fight, said he wasn’t exactly sure which elf he wanted to be, but that he was certainly going to win the war. Nicolas however, confidently stated, “Well, I am going to be LipGloss*!”
* For those not as familiar with the LotR trilogy, we’re pretty sure he meant Legolas.
Today we had a time of praise during our family prayers. I asked the children what they could say about God to praise him. When we got to Nicolas…
“That He’s magical.”
While on our long weekend away, the kids all participated in a competitive game of Junior Trivial Pursuit. One question to Nicolas stood out.
The question: What folk hero was known for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor?
Nicolas’ emphatic answer: Jesus.
This is a familiar sight at our house:
Two little rumply-haired boys in robes/jammies reading together on the couch early in the morning. It is one of their favorite things to do. It is also one of Mommy’s favorite things for them to do, because when engrossed like this, they are at peace with one another. No cross words, bickering over a toy, or whining to me about what evil the other has just done.
But there is also humor within this picture. Please note that both boys have a Magic TreeHouse book: this is a recently-discovered series in our family, and the children have been getting every book they can find out of both the city and school libraries. Which is understandable for Abigail and Jonathan, because, well, they can actually read. Words, that is. And Treehouse Books are definitely reader books. There are not a ton of pictures to help tell the story if you can’t figure out what the funny-looking symbols all over the page mean. Personally, I’d have a hard time enjoying these books if I was not a reader.
But Nicolas doesn’t agree with me. That precious boy of mine can’t read a single word, but he LOVES reading TreeHouse books. In fact, he tells me that he’s “read” eleven TreeHouse books now. Really. And he believes he has. Every time Jonathan picks up one, Nicolas chooses one for himself. Unless of course, as he tells me, he’s “already read that one”.
It’s so cute. He wants to be just like his big brother, and “read”. I, feeling sorry for him (thinking he cannot possibly be enjoying the process of patiently running his chubby finger underneath every. single. word. in. the. entire. book. – which is what he does in order to finish reading it, mind you) offer him countless picture books off our shelves, and he politely declines, saying he’d rather read his TreeHouse book.
Until this past weekend…when Jonathan began the first in another series of books which we own: the Hobbit. I wondered which TreeHouse book Nicolas might choose to read from while sitting next to his big brother. But the four-year-old calmly reached into the same grouping of books from which Jonathan had selected the Hobbit, and settled down comfortably with his own volume: none other than Fellowship of the Ring.
At dinner…
Mommy: Nicolas, tell me one privilege you get just because you are part of our family?
Nicolas: I get a spank?
It is never good when a child comes running to me yelling, “Someone’s bleeding! There’s lots of blood!” Since it was Jonathan doing the yelling, I quickly narrowed it down to four possibilities. As I ran toward the other side of the house, I heard the wail. It was Nicolas.
I found him in our bed bleeding from the mouth (thankfully our comforter has a fairly busy pattern with lots of red). Bleeding, as Jonathan had mentioned, a whole lot. As I grabbed him and headed for the bathroom I asked Abigail what had happened. Turns out Nicolas had decided to bounce on our bed (a huge no-no) and had a grand time up until the moment when his mouth met the footboard.
His lip continued oozing blood for a couple hours, and I ended up at the store buying yogurt, yogurt smoothies, and pudding. Tricia and I sought to offer him whatever comfort we could. Sometimes, children face consequences from their parents for bad behavior. Other times, the parents don’t have the chance to intervene, and the outcome is much worse.
three boys in a tub!
One of the features we love about our new house is the really great configuration of bedrooms/bathrooms, particularly well suited to our family, especially given the genders of our children. Two of the secondary bedrooms have what I believe is referred to as a “Hollywood Bath” between them (NOT Jack ‘n’ Jill, as I’d formerly called it – see, you learn something every day!). So, the room on one side houses our two bigger boys, and on the other side of the bathroom sits Josiah’s nursery. Now that he is big enough, all three of them love to take baths together in the “boy bathroom”, and play with lots of toys, and make lots of noise, and splash lots of water, and well, that is just what little boys do, as I’m learning. But after all the noise and water everywhere (including on Mommy and Daddy!) comes one of my favorite things as a parent – snuggling clean, sweet-smelling little boys in soft towels. Here is a shot of them having fun in their bathtub:
