This year I have a new job to add to my already rather long but not exhaustive list of titles including: wife, mommy, chauffer, personal chef, housekeeper, teacher, decorator, laundry woman, disciplinarian, and nurse. My new job title? One I have never had before and am not likely to have again: I am officially a Matron of Honor. M.O.H. for short.
Sadly, this new job doesn’t pay anymore than any of the ones I already had, but I don’t mind. So far, it’s been a pretty fun gig. Even downright frivolous at times. It requires lots of time on the computer, researching various topics all having to do with something called a “wedding”, and chatting on Google with the B.R.I.D.E. She’s a decent boss, good at delegation, fairly clear with her expectations, and for the most part, happy with my work so far. I’ve only gotten yelled at once or twice.
Along with this new job are some travel responsibilities, which reminds me, I should see about whether I can expense some mileage given the price of gas these days. The B.R.I.D.E. generally goes along when travel is required, and sometimes our resident J.B.M. (that’s Junior BridesMaid for those of you not in the know) accompanies us. The B.R.I.D.E. assures me that future travel will require visiting several nearby, yet exotic locations: places where they take common household ingredients like flour and sugar and turn them into works of art that look amazing yet get gobbled up all too quickly. I think she told me that visits to florists are also in our future.
But so far all our travel has taken us to chic little stores full of ballgowns, where one or more of us essentially get to play dress-up for hours on end. There is much trying-on of satin, tulle, and taffeta. Picture-taking, critiquing of various styles and colors, frowning over things we don’t like, and exclaiming about our favorites. The B.R.I.D.E. is lovely in everything she tries on so it’s sometimes hard to be a completely objective employee, and give her the feedback she needs. I’d love to prove this to you by showing you a photo of her in a frock, or maybe ten, but I do not dare or she would fire me in an instant, no questions asked. So, you’ll just have to take my word for it!
I hope to post more about my adventures as an M.O.H. in the coming weeks and months. Maybe even show you some pictures of this important new work I am involved in. But for now, I gotta run….I see a google message has popped up on my screen from the boss — duty calls!!