Calvin turned 15 on April 28, and Charis was 8 on May 8! Bookends of our children. Babies are completely gone from our household. Evangeline was 12 in June. Nevin is 13.5. Did we ever really believe this day would come? In a year we will be the parents of 3 teenagers!
Years of marriage, that is. I am so grateful for the nearly 20 years I have had with Mark. We often feel overwhelmed with life–the mundane things, the difficulties, the struggle, and the tension we feel because we believe circumstances can be better. But when I consider all God has done for us, all He has brought us through, all that we have faced together, I can only praise God for the husband of my youth. I want to praise Him for all the trials, too, but I am not always so good at that. Still, I know that I much prefer being in God’s hand and knowing He is faithful to the idea of trudging through life without Him. I am so thankful that He gave me Mark to trudge along beside me!
I continue to learn much about how to live. I think the greatest thing about my forties has been realizing how naive and stupid I really am. It is so much less stressful to realize I can’t solve all the problems I face. There is a freedom in this realization that leads me to greater faith in God’s strength to hold me up and move me forward. I am more free to trust Him more. I wish I could say I have gotten completely out of His way, but I can’t. I am just learning how to let Him work more.
Psalm 90:12-17 is a great passage that reminds me that my days are numbered and that I need to follow God’s leading and make the most of what I have been given.
12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
13 Return, O LORD! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!